Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Not having "The Time Of My LyF"

There are times when things seem to be going right.. then there are times when things though seem to be going right, do not seem to be going in the right direction as per your needs.. 

LyF jus takes a swingy swangy on the road and goes hay wire.. 

I'm jus going thru one of those phases at this very right moment.. 

Have no clue what suddenly happened.. I suddenly felt a disconnect.. 

A disconnect from world, a disconnect from people, a disconnect from pleasures, a disconnect from myself.. disconnect from myself, cus i want to do so much, there is so much in my mind, but the hopeless things dont happen the way i want them to happen.. 

Once I pick up pace, everything comes crashin down.. Everything.. LyF is so freekin slow, that I can't believe this is my life.. This is the life that I never wanted to live.. This is the life I am unfortunately living.. 

Days go by, and i realise nothing worth while has happened, last 5 months have been a waste.. Nothing worth while has happened.. 

Have done too many things, but I am simply not pleased with myself.. I feel I could do more, but.... "every extra step I take, things fall off, fall off to the ground, and I have to start from scratch"

it is painful... 

Tried to connect with a few people, went on fine for a couple of weeks.. now everythin's disconnected.. I can't keep changing frens every two weeks.. For tat matter every year also.. It needs to be consistent.. one or none.. i'd prefer none, cus losing friends like this is painful.. 

Tried to plan out things in mumbai last weekend, plans didn't work out.. everything fell apart.. i had to stay back at home.. wasted 3 days of extended weekend.. 

Tried to move out of my parent's house, but things are still not working out.. 

Tried to start something of my own, but things are way too slow.. another 2 weeks.. and in between I have loads to manage at the Job front.. 

One of the programs I manage is hung in the middle of nowhere, cus the admin is taking ages to decide on things.. in between, there are two more programs I need to manage.. 

M simply losing out on patience... God, get that fast paced life back to me.. I need it bad.. 


Devesh said...

Patience they say, is a virtue.

Cash in on the change and the ride - or else you'll soon get bored of the mundane.

Remember - the grass is always greener, until you are on the other side.

~PiScEaNaTeD~ said...

@Devesh: There aint a change, which is exactly what the problem is. Its the same old life, with the same old set of things happening everyday. wake up, come to work, go to gym, come back home, sleep !

Patience, well, after tryin so many times, I think a normal human being will lose it.
I can't keep tryin the same thing over and over again, jus to get my life runnin happily now..

Hmm.. need patience, loads of it.. pass it on pls.. if u have some extra :)

Aks said...

Good post.
Actually whteever is happening is kinda good.
It's good if it can successfully piss you off. Piss you off to limits.
And it seems, it's happening.

That's when you decide to break free. To plunge. To dice. To take that risk.

To move to Mumbai (the case with me).

Good. You know, I've this figured out. Things which suck have this value to add to us - they remind us how bad we can become if we continue like/with them. They compel us to break free.

Thoda time aur. I can almost see it.

~PiScEaNaTeD~ said...

@aks was one of the best comments on my blog till date. it has cheered me up. I think showin the negative image to me works much more finer than the optimism, specially wen i become a pessimist in these phases of life..
working towards attaining what I've wanted to attain all this while and things are working out fine now.. surprisingly, looks like a carved out road for me.. God Sent :)